Sometimes in life, someone or something just floors you. Today was one of those days. It was one of those days in which I had the most amazing and the worst of reactions all at once.
I was told I wasn’t a very nice person, which hurts, and I know it is circumstances and events and a mutual disjointedness and our responses were both what we shouldn’t really have done in a mature and well thought out way. But it still hurts to think that you have hurt someone. Someone that you never wanted to.
And what I have got from this is change, I need to change and be a better and a different person. I need to be less selfish. More perceptive. More giving and caring and open. I need to make myself more for more people.
I had a period of time when I had to be, and I didn’t realise how wrapped up in it all I was. How self absorbed and boring it must have been to the people around me. How shallow I looked.
I need to change. Because right now, I’m fundamentally not a nice person. If one of my closest friends thinks this… then what does everyone else think of me. I must be the shittest person. I must be insufferable.
I need to change. To make more time for others. To be more for more people. Selflessness needs to become me.